Monday, September 8, 2008

Sheer Excitement!

Well, I guess that partially explains how overly enthused I was to meet THE MISTY MAY TREANOR.
For those dumbwads [1]out there who don’t know who she is, let me explain. Not only is she a beach volleyball player, but she is a two time Gold Medalist beach volleyball player, and she is married to a baseball player; so basically she is me in an altered world that doesn’t exist[2]. Did I mention she will be on Dancing with The Stars this season?

When my roommate, Dana, and I play volleyball, which has become almost a daily occurrence this summer, she is Misty May and I am Kerri Walsh. We try to act just like them, we even pretend like we have plays and I will hold up numbers for Dana just like Kerri does when Misty is about to serve. We dig, we set, we serve. We do not spike[3].

We really wish we were them.

So, when I heard that there was a volleyball tournament this weekend in Santa Barbara I got down there as fast as a bat out of hell. We actually got to see Kerri and Misty play! And they really are that good. We also saw Rogers and Dalhauser play against this really cute guy who I also met and will soon marry[4].

But, for now I am done watching volleyball. Dana and I are too busy training for London 2012.

[1] A favorite made up word of my mother’s.
[2] But still, possibly COULD exist.
[3] This is because of our vertical challenge which the net imposes on us. Otherwise we would KILL.
[4] Look for the announcement soon!!!!


Dana, Big Willie, Me.

Don't we make a cute couple?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

You would too if your butt looked this good...

Everyone loves a good pair of jeans. I know you have searched for that perfect pair for hours on end at Nordstrom’s, don’t deny it. I don’t even wear jeans that often and I love a good pair of jeans. However… some may say that jeans, mainly designer jeans, are completely overpriced. Do I agree? Yes. Do I still buy them… duh!

When a pair of pants circles your butt, embraces your curves and follows your body to create mile long legs[1], it is hard not to turn them down. It is easier though once you see the price. Lets see… front row seats for an A’s game or a pair of designer jeans? Well, just do the math: That ticket will only be for one[2], and yea, memories do last forever, but I mean, come on: how often can memories show off your butt day after day? Exactly.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Just if the jeans are more than $150 doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good pair of jeans, if you can bargain shop; more power to ya[3]. I am just saying: say you do find a perfect pair of jeans that just so happens to cost maybe more than you make in a week, do you pass it up? Maybe not. Say you spent a dollar for every time you wore them. So if you wear them 150 times they are well worth the steep price[4].

Disclaimer: Just because I am writing a whole passage on jeans, doesn’t mean I am a Superficial Sally[5]. I am still the granola girl who would prefer to go commando, wear no make up, and a big tee shirt. But as I am sitting here and watching Stacey and Clinton scrutinize this women’s obvious lack of style, and incapacity to pick out a pair of jeans[6], I am reminded of my own jean shopping experience that happened at the beginning of the summer.

Things were looking up. I just got my tax return. My grandma just spent $60 on a pair of Ralph Lauren pajamas that I was going to return faster than you could say “completely unnecessary”. So, I was on my way back to San Luis Obispo to start a summer semester at Cuesta College to get a few GE’s out of the way when, suddenly; the most exceptional idea popped into my blonde little head! I could use the unnecessary PJ money, my tax money, and the (little) money I have in my bank account to purchase the jeans of my dreams. William Rast, the Belle Flare jeans. Ahhh! Were they almost as “completely unnecessary” as my grandma’s pajamas? Some might say. I, however, say that nothing is too expensive when it comes to the price of fashion. They are more like an investment for my legs. And besides, I had just enough money to last me for the rest of the month for food. Could this be anymore perfect? Could anything disrupt my plan? As I was driving back to SLO with jeans that are equivalent to gold in the back seat, I thought to my self, “Hell no!”

Oh… How wrong I was.

Turns out, the books I was required to purchase, cost just as much money as I had left for the rest of the month for food, and other necessities[7]. Well, I was not going to sit on my butt and starve for the rest of the month. No Sir! I had already been promised a job at a skate shop downtown so that could supply my income- NO worries. Right?


As I walked downtown in the unbelievable 114 degree weather[8], I found the lovely supervisor showing around a new girl the odds and ends of working at a skate shop, she politely informed me that they were no longer hiring. NO? REALLY? I couldn’t tell.

I hadn’t given up yet though. I pursued a different job amidst the heat that was making me sweat right down my chest[9]. Store after store, shop after shop; shops that I normally would have loved to visit on any other circumstance, were becoming increasingly irritating as every one of them happily explained to me that they weren’t hiring. This was not happening I could be the perfect employee. I was smiling. I was exerting an aroma that was just screaming, “The customer comes first!” And yet still, no job offers. Just as I was about to try one more store, yep, you guessed it; a bird pooped on me.

Well, now I had given up. The heat got to me, the rejection got to me, no: the bird poop got to me: I think it was a sign. So I was going to go home, sit on my butt in the heat, and starve. Thankfully, I only didn’t really eat for like three days. I got a babysitting job, and then, before I knew it, it was the end of the month and it was time for a new allowance, I was going to be ok even though I didn’t eat for a little bit, and even though a bird pooped on me.

Moral of the story: You now know that you can live off of stale bread and peanut butter for three days if you really want that one pair of designer jeans.

[1] Especially when you are 5’2’’, honey, I need all the help I can get.
[2] Who else is crazy enough to spend that watch to see an A’s game
[3] And please… show me your ways!
[4] Dad still has not found this argument valid. Mom has though and has now converted to designer jeans.
[5] Shut up. Yes, I did just make that up.
[6] What Not To Wear should follow right behind the Bible for guidance as far as I am concerned.
[7] Who am I kidding, other necessities= eating out.
[8] It is NEVER that hot here.
[9] Nonexistent to most, but trust me, its there.

Friday, August 1, 2008

If you can't beat 'em... join 'em

I’ve only said this two other times in my life:
1. I wore a Yankees hat and went to a Yankees game[1]
2. I made a Facebook
And now, to add to the list, #3 will be creating a blog. (The online things get me, if you can’t tell). First off, let me start this by telling you I resisted entering this world of online-type-confessional-journal-all-about-me-stuff for as long as possible. But for someone who can stay up hours at night talking to herself, this might be considered a little healthier. Also, instead of sticking with my rebellious ways against the church (mooning a girl’s camp with my white ass, not graduating from seminary, not going to school in Utah)[2] I decided that my young women leaders would be proud to se that I, Katherine- No middle name- Blair, am actually writing in a journal[3]! Now, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve attempted to write in one of these… it usually lasts, ummm… four weeks? Tops? And usually only if I buy a pretty new one from Papyrus. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t only just start writing in journals and not finish them; there are many other things I start and don’t finish! Let’s see… jewelry making[4], cleaning my room, my thoughts… wait. What was I saying? Anyways, if you know me, you know my thoughts have no bounds; left, right, down, up, oh-that-looked-pretty-over-there-kind of thoughts. So maybe I’ll be able to keep this up… maybe.
But… what do I have to say that might be interesting enough for you to read about? Scratch that… what can I tell you that I haven’t spent the last 45 minutes talking to you on the phone about already? [5] And, I’m not even the best writer. Ask my lovely roommate Alexia who has graciously corrected my essays and filled in my sentences with vocabulary words I never took the time to remember in high school- hey how was I supposed to know I would need to use them? But sometimes, these things are like a scab to me- and unfortunately I gotta pick it[6]- so I’m gonna pick at this blog thing for a while-give it a go. But, I plan on trying not to give you a play-by-play of my life… because everyone knows that if I did that, and if this were a TV show, it would only run at two in the morning, and only if I were lucky enough would Lifetime agree to play it. [7] If you do want the play-by-play, odds are you are crazy enough to listen to me talk my head off, your head off, your dog’s head off… basically, you don’t like someone? You stick ‘em in a room with me, and a few hours later, their head will be off. But without going into too many details, I think this blog will be a type of Seinfeld-like blog. Not familiar with Seinfeld? Let me be the one to inform you that it is actually a show about nothing. And I’m not just saying that either, they know it is about nothing, ask Jerry and George when they were launching their Pilot… sorry I digress. But really Elaine, Jerry, Kramer and George always did the best job of pointing out that everything, EVERYTHING, is funny; from soup Nazis, to Boys living in Bubbles. And, to me, I completely agree with them. The simple, odd things that happen to me are the funniest. And to me, the seemingly nothingness of life creates the beautiful world I love and the times I could not live with out. So, I will stop talking for now so your head can remain where it belongs- attached to your neck.
[1] Go A’s!
[2] Ok, so you might not think of them as rebellious. But lay off, I like to think of myself as a rebel.
[3] Damn it-blog- but for the time being, it’s an online JOURNAL- Got it? Good!
[4] I swore KB JEWELS was going to be the next big thing
[5] Yes, this is an attempt for me to save money on my phone bill. Maybe now I will only talk for 30 minutes. (See Daddy; I try!)
[6] Too graphic? Maybe? Ok.
[7] No offense Lifetime. But come on? Does anyone watch that anymore? Wait, has anyone ever watched that?